Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Diagnoses at Denny's

I've mentioned before that I tend to diagnose the passers-by that I see around town and on the road. I was eating breakfast at the Denny's in Moab, Utah this past week when a middle-aged couple lumbered to their seats.

They were both quite wide in the middle, carrying way too much visceral fat packed around their waistlines. Doubtless two cases of metabolic syndrome, a high risk constellation of central obesity plus two of the following: high blood pressure, low HDL cholesterol, diabetes or elevated fasting blood sugar, and elevated triglycerides. Of course, I have no idea about their lab findings, but he no sooner sat down but he pulled out a ziplock baggy jammed with pill bottles.

He was unnaturally red in the face contrasting with his pale arms and legs sticking out from t-shirt and shorts. Sunburn? Shoot, that's a med. student's diagnosis. Idiopathic erythema? Rosacea? Polycythemia vera? His legs, however, had none of the swelling or skin changes associated with venous insufficiency which is a good sign, but his calves and thighs were scrawny which may be a bad sign per a recent report that a low thigh circumference is associated with a higher risk for heart disease!

As they sat, unaware of my clinical musings, she leaned forward, grinning, and said something to him in a low voice. His face immediately crinkled with amusement and softened with affection.

My final diagnosis? They were in love!

2 comments:

kenju said...

You were probably right about all the other stuff too.

So, I need to be concerned because I DON'T have big thighs? That's a laugh!

Anonymous said...

I've shown your photo to my beloved and advised him that if we see you anywhere we are to turn our round, red-faced selves as deftly as possible and head in the other direction:)